𝑨𝒎𝒚 𝑷𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏.

𝑴𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏, 𝒐𝒓𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒏, 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒃𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒖𝒆𝒔. 𝑨 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕, 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒄 𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓. 𝑨𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒓 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 " 𝑯𝒆𝒍𝒍 ", 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒔 . . 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒋𝒐𝒃? 𝑫𝒆𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒚 ─ 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒍𝒂𝒘 𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒍.

❛ 𝒢𝑜𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓈 𝒽𝑒𝓇. ❜

━━━━━⊰✟⊱━━━━━

"Ｈａｖｅ ｙｏｕ ｅｖｅｒ ｌｏｖｅｄ
ｓｏｍｅｏｎｅ ｓｏ ｍｕｃｈ，
ｙｏｕ＇ｄ ｇｉｖｅ ａｎ ａｒｍ ｆｏｒ？
Ｎｏｔ ｔｈｅ ｅｘｐｒｅｓｓｉｏｎ，
ｎｏ， ｌｉｔｅｒａｌｌｙ ｇｉｖｅ
ａｎ ａｒｍ ｆｏｒ？
Ｗｈｅｎ ｔｈｅｙ ｋｎｏｗ
ｔｈｅｙ＇ｒｅ ｙｏｕｒ ｈｅａｒｔ
Ａｎｄ ｙｏｕ ｋｎｏｗ
ｙｏｕ ｗｅｒｅ ｔｈｅｉｒ ａｒｍｏｕｒ
Ａｎｄ ｙｏｕ ｗｉｌｌ ｄｅｓｔｒｏｙ
ａｎｙｏｎｅ ｗｈｏ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｔｒｙ ｔｏ ｈａｒｍ ' EM.
Ｂｕｔ ｗｈａｔ ｈａｐｐｅｎｓ
ｗｈｅｎ ｋａｒｍａ， ｔｕｒｎｓ
ｒｉｇｈｔ ａｒｏｕｎｄ ａｎｄ ｂｉｔｅｓ ｙｏｕ？
Ａｎｄ ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ
ｙｏｕ ｓｔａｎｄ ｆｏｒ， ｔｕｒｎｓ ｏｎ ｙｏｕ ｔｏ ｓｐｉｔｅ ｙｏｕ？
Ｗｈａｔ ｈａｐｐｅｎｓ
ｗｈｅｎ ｙｏｕ ｂｅｃｏｍｅ ｔｈｅ ｍａｉｎ ｓｏｕｒｃｅ ｏｆ HIS ｐａｉｎ？"

One bullet. . One life. It pierced right through his little skull. . Between those big emeralds of his. The skull of Amy's baby brother. And why? Just because they were trying to escape hell on earth. They sought freedom . . Light. Hope. Freedom away from their abusive adoptive father. Freedom from it all. But what they were greeted with or at least the older Peterson — was death. He had grabbed his gun and shot the little child without even blinking twice. The ichor splattered out back across her face. Her own brother froze in his tracks and slowly.. sunk to his knees. Falling back across the grass after.

She felt her eyes widen and pulse quicken, her heart thudding like a rock rattling in box. The blood drained from my face, before she was even aware of making a conscious decision her legs were pounding furiously on the grassy track, her ears straining for more sounds, more hints to his breathing. He was still alive. Right? He had to be. Nonono he was. For sure. She had no clue as to what she'd do when she got there, just that she had to get by his side and fast. In that moment, she fell down to her knees and watched as the last of his breaths escaped his fragile petite body. Trembling palms ghosted over his face. His now pale face. Unable to touch him just yet. The only soul who kept her moving. The only one who actually managed to bring an honest simper to that face which barely witnessed happiness. Is now dead.

Finally those palms clutched into fits of handfuls of his small shirt. Her body leaning down until her forehead pressed down against his. The sobs were stifled at first as she attempted to hide her grief, then overcome by the wave of her emotions she would break down entirely, all her defenses washed away in those salty tears.

❛ Wake up buddy. Wake up . .
Please wake up. . ❜
The sobs punched through, ripping through her muscles, bones, and guts. The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. She felt the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child. She could hear her own sounds, like a distressed child, raw from the inside.
Shaking him just slightly as she buried her face against his. ❛ Oh god . . Wake up, Adam. I'll buy you all the comics you want, buddy. WAKE UP... ❜

And loud crazy like laughter began tumbling past succulent brims once snapping her cranium upwards and shouting in her father's direction. Who was no longer in view.

❛ I HATE YOU ... I FUCKING HATE YOU.
IT SHOULD BE YOU AND NOT HIM ─ ❜
but that unstable laughter soon twisted into calling out for her brother's name.

Her attention fell back into the lifeless body now pulled into her lap. Craddled against her chest.
❛Say something. . ﹙ Please﹚.
Don't you dare.. Don't you dare fucking leave me too, Adam ..Don't you..."

Words got lost within untamed tears ..and finally, the scream tore through her like a great shard of glass as she threw her dome backwards to stare at the sky.
Seconds of silence then the scream came again, desperate, terrified... human.

He was gone.

ℱ𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇.

𝘼 𝘿𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙍𝙪𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙄𝙣 𝙈𝙮 𝙑𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙨..

❛ Mirror
Mirror
On the wall.
Whose the fucked up of them all . . ❜

You have a master. He controls every inch of you, your body, soul and mind. You have to visit him a few times a day, otherwise you fear you'll go insane. It hurts to be away for too long, you start to feel weak, body aches and you struggle to act rationally.

❛ And when I finally see him? ❜

─ Voice unsure, eyebrows furrowed. As if she was actually talking to a magical mirror that answers all her questions.

When you finally see him, everything seems whole, the world is whimsical and perfect. He is allllll you need, all you could ever want. He is perfect. He shows no mercy, it only takes a few careless encounters and then you fall for him. He becomes your everything, you will do anything to get to him; lie, steal, cheat, sell yourself.. He changes you into somebody that would sicken most people, but you can't help but love him for it. Love the energy and happiness he brings. Oh but you're not the only one that visits him, there are others like you too. So in love..

When the pain comes of her brother's death.. Of her brother's head being blown the fuck off.. her brain makes a million excuses to cave in, and she only needs one. Her thoughts are as a brilliant rat in a very bad maze, for it's just too easy to solve. Then she's there, at her addiction, awaiting a new fix, praying she can survive this "cure" for the never ending search for comfort.

She moves for more despite her brain protesting, as if her actions have become severed from her thoughts. With the battle lost, she begins to create reasons for the behaviour being alright: ❛ It's just one more, I'll do better tomorrow, I deserve it because...❜

Because what, Amy? Because you're fucking 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙘? Because you're
just a 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮, 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣, 𝙪𝙣𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 little shit?

───

Holding a fairly large syringe in her hand with a sharp needle that could jab her skin with satisfaction and a euphoric feeling. It helped to solve the most intricate problems, silence the terrifying memories and take her to a colorful world full of happiness. But there she sat on her old couch in her old crappy fucking apartment and stared at it. Every fiber in her body screamed for it . . she wanted it ─ no, she ( 𝙉𝙀𝙀𝘿𝙀𝘿 ) it. She aimed at the most visible vein in which only the blood, purified of toxins, swam. The needle stuck in, and she pushed a dose of heroin from the syringe into her system. Into her body. A drug for sadness, fear and guilt.

She inhaled shakily and fluttered her exhausted cobalt hues shut , relaxing her limbs. She could have sworn she felt the heroin flowing through every cell of her body. Suddenly, her sorrow and despair flowed somewhere else, some memories decided to let go. And others took their place.

She was in their old orphanage again with her little brother. He was a little boy with big glasses again. He sat in the dining room, where there was a smell of decay.
Amy, older than Adam sat down next to him. She had an old gold chain in her hand and was swinging it teasingly before the other.

❛ Found ... not stolen! ❜ She said aloud, holding the golden chain hard between slim digits.

"Give me, I want to see it too!" He demanded, holding his hand as far as he could, but he could not reach the trinket.

An amused simper tugged across plump petals at his assumption that she'd give him what she had so easily ─ but faded so quickly because his bottom lip was shaking and he had those big green puppy eyes. Before she knew it, her arm swung around his shoulders and she yanked him into her lap. Dropping the chain into his little hands then ruffling at his fluffy dirty blonde mane wildly. ❛ You little shit! .. Can't believe you won everytime.. ❜

Adam held the chain triumphantly by the side of her head, flashing a ( huuuuge ) smile. Shown through those missing baby teeth of his. Then his tiney hand rose upwards to cup at her other cheek and she saw the ( world ) through his goddamn eyes. For some reason, her blues glistened with tears .. but .. that wasn't what happened .. She didn't cry back then. They just hugged it out and went to bed. Why was she about to cry?

"I'm sorry.."
He lisped through the 'sorry' and his grin dropped,
fumbling with the chain, he began babbling. "We could share! One day for you and another for me!"

❛ ... ❜

Amy leaned her head in to press her forehead against his, shaking her head repeatedly. Words breaking through the muffled tears. ❛ I'm sorry.. I'm so.. So.. Sorry, brother.. ❜

───

Back to reality, a big truck honked outside and sent Amy jumping to fall off of the couch. What she saw in her high trance was gone. The sweet sweet bitter memory: Gone. She curled up on the floor, holding herself as tears streamed down her face silently. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, but who could hear her? Who would even ( want ) to help her?

𝙃𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙤𝙣, 𝙃𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚 . .

𝘾𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄'𝙢 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 ..